Corbusier
 
by Biscuit
 
Chapter 3
 
 
Colin showed up as if he sensed I was struggling
to banish him from my mind and wasn't going to
let that happen.
 
Billie Holliday was playing in my mom's studio.
Never a good sign, but at least it wasn't blasting.
 
It was the third Saturday in a row that I didn't
know what to do with myself. Megan wouldn't be
showing up at my door, prying me out into the
world. She wouldn't be calling to see what we
were going to do.
 
Thanksgiving had passed. Me, my mom and my
grandmother had gone out to dinner and stuffed
ourselves. The holiday was like a big wasteland to
me without Megan.
 
She fucking hated me. As far as she was concerned
I was the biggest chickenshit asshole in the world.
She said I'd not only humiliated her, cheated on her,
but that I'd done the one thing that she couldn't
forgive -- which was totally shut her out.
 
"You couldn't just tell me. I had to find out from
fucking Marisa Conolly that my boyfriend's
giving blowjobs in the bathrooms!"
 
She was so mad she could hardly look at me without
spitting fire. My lame defense -- I only did it once.
At that I thought she'd strangle me. If she'd known
about Colin Daley she probably would have ended
my life on the spot and called it a mercy killing.
 
Before she stormed out of my house she said "fuck
you," to me like I'd never heard it said in my life.
Like it was ripping right out of her heart.
 
Within a week she'd started dating a guy in our oils
class, Todd Mackey. I should have known she was
only doing it to hurt me, to protect herself. He'd
been panting after her for a long time and she'd never
even liked him. It killed me to see him put his hands
on her, right in front of my face. Maybe it doesn't
make sense, but whatever I was, I missed touching her,
being with her, seeing her look happy just because I'd
walked into a room.
 
And what had I traded that for? I didn't want Chad
Grossman, that's for sure. He was being kind of
sheepishly nice to me. He apologized for letting the
proverbial cat out of the bag and even tried to get
me to hang out with him. But we were no more
into being friends than we ever had been. We had
about zero in common with each other beyond our
hard dicks. He and I weren't going to go to thrift
shops together looking for clothes and jewelry, or
get high and make out in the park.
 
Yeah, right, making out in the park. Don't even
think about that. Which of course I did, just about
a million times a day; Colin Daley. I'd fucked up
my life over a guy I didn't even know, a guy who
didn't want to know me. For all that every kid in
three grades thought I was having sex like crazy
in the bathrooms, I was getting exactly nothing but
real familiar with my right hand. If a guy at school
even looked at me I panicked.
 
So let the Billie Holliday records spin. At least my
mom was painting which was more than I was doing,
lying on my bed hour after hour, feeling sorry for
myself, swearing I wouldn't even let myself think
about Colin Daley when I jerked off anymore.
 
That particular Saturday, I think my body finally
rebelled against doing nothing. I was sitting at the
drawing table in my bedroom, facing the glass wall,
a sketch in front of me. I'd done more sketches of
the maple tree in the garden outside my bedroom
than you can imagine. I'd been drawing pictures of
that tree since I first picked up a fat crayon as a six
year-old.
 
Taped across the top of my table were pen and ink
drawings of the roots. It was a project for one of
my classes, a stupid texture exercise, using different
small shapes to create the patterns of dark and light
in a series of renderings of one subject. It suited my
mood, anyway, to sit there making tiny repetitive
shapes in black ink.
 
That's when Colin Daley appeared on top of the
garden wall. I heard the noise, a muffled scuffling
like a squirrel clamoring up the vines and glanced
outside. There he was. He'd swung himself up
and was sitting on the top of the wall.
 
The wall was only about five feet high. He didn't
come over it. He was just sitting up there with
his legs hanging over, brushing off his hands and
looking right in at me. I was about to drip a big
blob of India ink right in the middle of my so
carefully rendered roots, staring back.
 
Fuck. I put down the pen and went to the window.
It was set in the other outside wall and I couldn't
see him from there, but I called out.
 
"What are you doing out there?"
 
"Why don't you answer your fucking doorbell?"
 
Maybe the Billie Holliday volume had snuck up, I
hadn't heard anything. Holy fuck he's here, I
thought, my brain and body starting to churn.
 
"I'll meet you at the door," I yelled out.
 
Colin Daley had come back and I hadn't cut my
hair yet or gotten any older. What the fuck, I hadn't
even taken a shower and I was dressed in nothing
but sweats and the tee-shirt I'd slept in. Nothing to
do about that. He'd already seen me. Well, fuck
him, I wasn't going to let him touch me anyway.
Was I?
 
Shit, my mom. Her studio went quiet just as I
was heading for the front door, and she was
looking down over the railing to see what was
up.
 
"Is Megan here?" she called down to me.
 
Her studio, well I keep calling it that even though
supposedly we shared it. I never used it when she
was like she'd been since, well for almost a month
and a half. It was set at the top of the stairs to the
second floor. Open on two sides overlooking the
living room and part of the kitchen.
 
My mom wasn't happy about what was happening
between me and Megan. I'd told her that Megan
was seeing a new guy but I hadn't told her why.
She was on my ass about it all the time, although
she said she didn't necessarily think it was a bad
thing for Megan to see somebody else. It was
weird. She was half protective of me, and half
protective of Megan. She suspected me of doing
something fucked up to make Megan want to see
somebody else. And she was right.
 
"No, it's not Megan," I said, hoping she'd start up
her next Billie Holliday tape and go back to work.
But she was standing right there watching as I let
him in the front door.
 
He looked incredible. Like a dream come true,
standing in the doorway in his tight jeans. He was
better looking than I even remembered, like I'd
dimmed him down in my mind. He was wearing a
Knick's sweatshirt that looked worn and soft and
rode his hips under his leather jacket. Colin had a
grin that was a little lopsided. His teeth weren't
exactly even, which is something I find really sexy,
a little prominent canine tooth gave his pretty
mouth an almost sneer.
 
She was looking down, her arms across her chest.
He was looking up at her with his hands on his hips.
Both of them had their heads cocked to the side
and all I could think was that she knew everything,
just looking at him.
 
"Mom, this is Colin." The guy I punched. The
guy I fucked.
 
"You guys want some lunch or something?" she
asked. Jesus. What a time to get maternal on me.
 
"No thanks, we're going out soon." I started away
toward my room and prayed that he'd follow me.
I knew I'd have questions to answer later, depending
on how much wine went down up in the studio, but
I wasn't going to stand there and explain him to her.
 
The relief of getting behind the closed door of my
bedroom almost sent a shudder through me. Or was it
just being alone with him? I'd walked in fast, keeping
a distance so that thing couldn't happen like last time
where he just grabbed me.
 
But my body was remembering what it was I was
avoiding, and when I did turn around my dick was
already stirring. I crossed my arms over my chest,
kind of like my mom had, but I was doing it to
hide the tightness I could feel in my nipples.
 
"What are you doing here?"
 
"What do you think?"
 
God help me. I'd been jerking off to the memory
of him for more than a month; dreaming about
sucking his dick. Remembering fucking him.
 
Now he was dropping his jacket over the back of
the chair at my drawing table, glancing at the
sketches.
 
"Nice," he said. Jesus, he was stepping out of his
shoes and when he turned toward me I could see
his cock was hard, a thick ridge climbing up his
hip. And he saw me looking. Then he was right
in front of me, raking his fingertips up the backs
of my arms into the sleeves of my tee-shirt. It
sent up waves of goose bumps that met like a crash
of shivers at the back of my neck. Oh man. My
head dropped back and I grabbed him.
 
It felt every bit as good as I remembered, his lips
on mine, his tongue moving in my mouth. I was
rubbing my dick into the hard bulge in his jeans
and I could feel the juice starting up out of me.
 
Billie Holliday was singing again and Colin's hands
were down the back of my sweats, curving around
my bare ass. He had a cheek in each hand and was
pulling me tight to his crotch. I could have come
right then in my pants if he'd kept that up. But he
pushed me away from him a little, holding me at
arm's length, looking at me. So gorgeous. His
cheeks were pinked up and his mouth was shiny
and his eyes were doing a slow pan of my front.
 
"Miss me, princess?"
 
What was I going to say, standing there with my
sweatpants stuck on my throbbing boner, breathing
like I couldn't get enough air in my lungs. Why did
he have to stop kissing me -- it was so much easier
when we were just joined at the mouth. I felt like
he wanted to humiliate me, making me say it. But
I said it.
 
"Yes." One simple word and I could feel the blush
in my face, the miserable pout shaping my mouth.
 
He smiled.
 
I didn't know then that he had more than a nodding
acquaintance with the wall outside my bedroom. I
didn't know he'd been haunting the grove where he
first saw me in the park, hoping I'd show up. As far
as I knew, he'd just gotten the urge to fuck me again
and shown up, confident that he could waltz right in
and do it. And he could.
 
"Mom's not gonna walk in, is she?" he asked. He let
go of my shoulders and took hold of the bottom of my
tee-shirt, lifting it up over my head. He dropped it
on the floor. He slid his hands over my pecs and I
had to bite my lip to stay quiet. "Is she?" he said.
 
I shook my head. She never just walked in my room.
 
My hands were almost shaking, reaching for the
top button of his jeans. I wanted him naked.
 
Colin only stopped me from pulling his pants down
his hips long enough to get the condom out of his
pocket.
 
I knew, even if my mom had never barged into my
room, that it wasn't the smartest thing in the world
to be doing what I was doing but I couldn't stop.
 
I was on my knees on the floor, my face pressed
up to his cock through the warm fabric of his briefs.
I was rubbing my lips on him, trying to fill myself
up with the smell of his body. Sliding my fingers
into the waistband of his underwear was about the
most exciting thing I'd ever done. It was so good
I wanted to hurry, like I had to get to everything I
wanted to do, but at the same time I was already
anxious, trying not to rush, thinking about how he
was going to take off again as soon as we were done.
 
His dick was so hard I had to pull it down to get
it in my mouth. He tasted a little soapy but there
was a tang to the flavor of the pink head that felt
so smooth in my mouth. I rubbed my tongue against
his slit to taste him and he made a noise that sent a
huge rush to my dick.
 
A condom wasn't the only thing he'd taken out
of his pocket. He had a small tube of lube, too. He
said it would feel better to use it and he was right.
Not that I didn't want to fuck, I did. But even
though I knew I'd liked it, the part I really did
remember, when the time came to do it again, was
how much it had hurt at the beginning.
 
On my back with my legs spread, my knees hooked
over my arms, so wide open, I got this pang of
shame. I mean, it was my ass I was showing off, how
could he want to be looking at that? Until he started
rubbing that cool wet stuff into me. The cold feel of
it around his warm finger and his icy eyes looking
down at me, like he was dying to fuck me, made me
feel like my ass was beautiful, that it was sexy.
 
If only he wasn't going to look at me a whole other
way afterwards. I told myself it didn't matter. So what
if he took off, at least he had come back. Another part
of me, dumb and hopeful, was thinking that maybe he
wouldn't run off so fast, act so indifferent, this time.
 
Pretty soon I wasn't thinking much of anything but,
fuck me. It did still hurt going in, but not like the last
time. And then it was so good. That feeling of being
stuffed turning into being full and stroked. I still
didn't know what made it feel so good but I kept
wanting it over and over, I couldn't get enough of it.
And then his hand, sticky and wet with lube, closed
around my dick and started pumping. It was too good,
like one too many plugs got plugged in and I shot into
overload, spurting cream like a can of Reddi-whip.
 
My legs felt like they were never going to straighten
out again and my ass felt wide open and soaked. Colin
had fallen off to the side of me and that's when I
heard my mom tap on the door and realized I wasn't
hearing Billie Holliday anymore.
 
"Corby?"
 
"Yeah mom, don't, don't come in, okay." Oh God.
When had the music stopped? How long had she been
out there?
 
"Janice is here. We're going downtown. Do you want
to go?" What the fuck, she never asked me to go with
her and Janice.
 
"No. I'll see you later."
 
"Everything okay?" Jesus, she must have heard us.
What did she think? I forced myself not to panic.
 
"Everything's fine." God, I could feel her wanting
to open that door and see for herself.
 
"All right, sweetie," she said finally and I breathed.
"I won't be home late."
 
My legs were finally flat on the bed and I groaned,
covering my face with my hands. So close. My
heart was taking its time slowing down to normal.
Right then, Colin Daley could have disappeared
altogether and I'd have thanked God. But he didn't.
And the minute I felt him take hold of my wrist,
pushing my hand away from my face, I was so glad
he was there. What a face he had, and just then it
was like seeing him in the park, him looking back at
me as if my face looked just as good to him. He
started kissing me. Our lips were swollen and his
tongue felt different, like it was at home in my
mouth, like we'd swapped so much spit that we
tasted the same.
 
He was rubbing the cum on my stomach. I felt
him raking it through my pubes, and he wound his
hand around my soft cock. Damn if it didn't twitch
like it wanted to get hard again. He grinned in the
middle of a kiss, pulling back when he felt me
starting to get stiff in his hand.
 
I couldn't believe it when he slid down and started
sucking me. It was nothing like getting blown in
the bathroom at school. The one had felt really
good, but this was something else. This was him,
wanting my dick in his mouth, not just two guys
who were horny trading blowjobs. This was Colin
Daley washing my balls with his tongue and eating
my cock like it was dessert. And when I said I
was going to shoot he just sucked harder.
 
He did leave after that. Me, like the dead, hearing
him in the bathroom, washing up. He came out
dressed, his face looking scrubbed, his hair a little
damp at the edges.
 
"What," I said as he put his jacket on, "you're not
going to tell me to get my hair cut." What I said
didn't matter, it still came out sounding like I was
dying because he was leaving. And I was.
 
"I already told you that," he said. But he did pause
and walk over to the bed. "Come on," he said, just
waiting next to the bed. "Sit your ass up and kiss
me. You know you want to." I'm sure my face was
as sullen as it felt, but I did it. I sat up and he leaned
down and kissed me. He tasted like my toothpaste
and I figured he must have helped himself to my
toothbrush. God, I was shameless. I put my arms
around his neck and tried to hang on. He just
peeled them off. "Okay then. I've got to go."
 
"How come?" I might as well have taken a shovel
and started digging my grave. I saw that look
coming over him, like the time before. Like he
might have made the biggest mistake in the world
by fucking me.
 
"It's called work, princess. Some people have to
do it to live." It was no answer. Not really. I mean
he could have had a job and still asked me for my
phone number or given me his. He could have said
he'd see me again. No answer but it was a clue to the
answer.
 
Colin Daley didn't see any way to fit me into his life.
I'd figure that out, eventually. He wanted me. As
much as I wanted him. More, to hear him tell it,
when the time finally came he was honest with me.
 

 

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