Life has been rather hellish lately but I am still here. After experiencing a devastating loss, I have come to the realization that I AM STILL HERE AND BECAUSE I AM STILL HERE, I MUST LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST AND TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY. I recently had several experiences that helped me to see that there is still joy in life and that I can experience happiness again.
I hope that any of you who have experienced loss and pain can take comfort in the fact that you are not alone in what you are feeling. You know what? I don't think that ANY of us escape life unscathed. Everything is relative isn't it? My loss is nowhere near the scale of what people who were caught up in the tsunami experienced but nevertheless, it has been/is painful, devastating and life altering.
Still, I believe in the truth, the joy, and the magic of life.
My SUN, my beautiful, beautiful Sun, my Star Angel is gone and I am desolate.
I WENT TO THE FOLSUM STREET FAIR!!!!!! It was my first time!!!! My first time at Folsum and my first time in San Francisco, believe it or not, even though I have been in Cali for almost two years now. And...no...still haven't been to LA. It was sooooo nice to be around FREAKS like me. And I mean that in the nicest of all ways.
It was so nice to be around those who are simpatico. Ever been somewhere where you catch someone's eye, feel a connection and nod and smile? Aren't those kind of little moments precious and magical? I mean, you know you will never see that person again, you don't even speak; you both just recognize a kindred spirit when you see one.
That's how Folsum was for me. All kinds of people...all sizes, shapes, colors, genders, pansexual. My idea of heaven. All these people in one place and on the same, let's have some fun, vibe. Went to a nightclub that evening or the next, can't remember now; it's all running together. We were all packed in there like sardines, skin to sweaty skin, vibing on the music and dancing.
Well, I am still here. School is no longer kicking my ass but between work, school and family responsibilities, I have not been writing as much as I would like. I am still working on Lonnie's Heart and I will post it ASAP. It is just about finished. I keep plodding away. I have found a wonderful Sci Fi series by Jacqueline Carey. The first book in the series is Kushiel's Dart.
I also love anything by mystery writer Carol O'Connell. She has a new book out in paperback but damned if I can remember the name of it. I saw her name on the cover and that was it for me. Laurel K Hamilton has a new book coming in October, I think. If you haven't read George R. Martin's series, get it. Michelle West's series is awesome, incredible and off the hook. Unlike many authors who write series, she maintained quality through the entire series. She has written two series and I recommend them both.
I am listening to The Roots, Kanye West (still), Alanis, Avril, The Deftones and of course, always and forever, Sarah McLaughlin. (Did I spell that right? I'm too lazy to get up and check. It's five in the am and I'm in bed typing away on my laptop.)Also, can't forget about Melissa E. I went on vacation in the Santa Cruz mountains last month and I purchased a bunch of CDs to keep me company. It was so beautiful. Redwood trees,peace and quiet. Sitting in a hottub late at night and watching the stars. Talk about heaven on earth.
I have added a slashy goodness page. I admit to the guilty pleasure of reading children's books. I read Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak on a regular basis. And if I could find some of my other favorites I'd be reading them too. I'm gonna get The Velveteen Rabbit as a birthday present for myself this year. I have finally read the Harry Potter series and I have fallen in love with it. Some really wonderful writers have written slashy goodness for the rest of us and as some of my favorite writers allow me to, I will be posting their stories here.
PEACE AND BLESSINGS TO YOU ALL. AND...UM...DON'T FORGET I AM STILL AN EMAIL SLUT. EMAIL ME...PLEEZE:)THAT WON'T EVER CHANGE. I LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU.
THERE WAS A DAWN I REMEMBER
WHEN MY SOUL HEARD SOMETHING
FROM YOUR SOUL. I DRANK WATER
FROM YOUR SPRING AND FELT
THE CURRENT TAKE ME